Don't forget to enjoy every little moment. Evey interaction. Don't. Forget

nothing in particular

i have reached this level of toxicity. who am i now? the truth, the untruth... meaningless. i drown in nothing in particular. nothing... so why am i this way. i have reached this level of toxicity. where does it go from hear? into nothingness.. ha.. ha... into nothingness.. meaningless.. self pity, self doubt, self worth, selfish. selfish selfish selfish. nothing is not selfish. in principal this is a way to survive.

it annoys me to have to worry about if the volume of my music is bothering the neighbors! actually, aww, nahh, never mind. he gave all my knives back to me. almost two years to the date after i used those knives to dull the pain. two years after i told him i was leaving. two years after he hid all the knives from me. im sure it doesn't mean anything, just randomness not seaming so random. I dont know how to feel about the randomness becoming not so random.

Stuck between Scorpio and Sagittarius

There is a time and place for everything right? Presumably the motivation for this blog comes from that. This is not for others, although, it would be neat for others to follow along. No, this is purely a selfish act. A way to vindicate my thoughts and emotions, perhaps, leading to a way to piece them together. The outcome is unknown and most of all unimportant. I have been extremely impulsive lately! Odd, because it does not come naturally, I think things through to a fault. Weigh the good and the bad, going through possible outcome scenarios. This is what I generally do however; lately I have given up on this routine. Why? Somewhere in my wandering mind I have decided to give into impulses, because…. Why the hell not? Really! Why not? What harm can come from it? Actually, since the impulses I have been acting on are harmless accept for the occasional feeling of humiliation, no harm can come. Humiliation is nothing in the grand scheme of things. That said, I have not gotten very far with this train of thought, and although I don’t think I will abandon it just yet, I will let it rest. I will not abandon it because, all things considered, I have learned something from it. What this something is I cannot quantify just yet, but there certainly something to it.

antiparticles

corresponding to most types of particles there is an associated antiparticle with the same mass and opposite charge. i was thinking about this last week, and it has stuck with me. we are composed of molecules which are built from elements bound to gather by specific forces. these elements are made of particles, some of which have associated antiparticles. you know where i am going with this...