nothing in particular

i have reached this level of toxicity. who am i now? the truth, the untruth... meaningless. i drown in nothing in particular. nothing... so why am i this way. i have reached this level of toxicity. where does it go from hear? into nothingness.. ha.. ha... into nothingness.. meaningless.. self pity, self doubt, self worth, selfish. selfish selfish selfish. nothing is not selfish. in principal this is a way to survive.